…No, not my Facebook relationship status. What’s complicated is me, trying to figure out how to play a DVD.

Now before you start rolling your eyes at my not knowing how to operate a DVD player, stop! I was attempting to use the X-Box 360. If you know your way around gaming systems, I’m not talking to you. (You may commence with the eye-rolling now.) But if you’re a woman of a certain age, who doesn’t generally find herself locked in the basement for hours playing video games, you will appreciate how complicated this task can be.

To play a DVD on the X-Box at our house, start by turning it on. Next, push the button that releases the DVD tray and insert the DVD. So far, so good.

Now, turn on the projector. Did I mention that we have one of those? Once it’s powered-up, press the source button on the remote control to toggle down to Video 1. (I am not sure what all the other options do, but Video 1 is the one you want.) Be sure the tuner is on, and tuned to Video 2.  Ours also has a switch box that requires you to press the third button to send the signal from the X-Box to the projector.

Now comes the fun part, for all you gaming aficionados – the game controller. It helps to know that different gaming systems have different controllers. (Imagine that!) Insist upon using the X-Box 360 game controller not the Game Cube one that looks exactly like it! Trust me; it matters. 

What’s suppose to happen next goes something like this.

Select the X-Box controller with a cord. Take the end of the cord and add the adapter to change the “male” end into a USB. Plug the whole thing into the console, through a secret trap door, under the CD drive. Or use a cordless controller, which also probably won’t work because the kids will have drained the batteries.

That’s what should have happened. What actually happened was:

I got so frustrated with the stupid thing that I flung the controller back into the basket and got on the treadmill. I’ll leave X-Box 360 to Generation Z.