After watching a recent episode of Katie, it was official. I HAD TO HAVE a pair of white boyfriend jeans, despite the warning that “every woman that puts on a pair of white jeans is afraid it’s going to show cellulite.” (confirmed)

Initially crestfallen, I was encouraged when Kelly Sparks, Joyus Style Expert, announced that you could avoid the dreadful “c” if you kept three things to keep in mind when selecting a pair of white jeans: look for less stretch (to avoid them from sticking to you and looking “gummy);” denser, thicker fabric; and buy one size up.

I imagined myself, looking like the model in the segment. Never mind that she was a staff intern, half my age, or that she was probably a size 2 or 4, I was going to get those jeans!

First stop: Lord & Taylor, my retail “go-to.” Now I’m not sure what the problem was, but there wasn’t a single pair throughout the store. I compensated by purchasing a skinny metallic belt and Kate Spade tote, rationalizing that both would look great with the jeans …once I found them.

Afterwards, I was off to Macy’s, where there is so much crap, I usually find what I’m looking for. Macy’s approach to the white jean, was to offer every imaginable style a woman could ever want (or never wear): jeggings, ultimate skinny – I can’t begin to imagine what those would look like on; straight; curvy skinny ankle (low rise); skinny (low rise); natural fit (tapered leg); tummy control (slim leg); and the curvy skinny ex-boyfriend jeans – I thought for sure that one would be a winner. It wasn’t.

photo 2 (9)          photo 3 (10)

Determined, not deterred, I ducked in and out of stores before landing in White House Black Market where their boyfriend jeans are actually called “girlfriend” jeans. (Wouldn’t that just be a “regular” jean?)

Several stores and many “butt” selfies later, I found what I was looking for, hanging in an Ann Taylor store. Since they didn’t have my size, I tried sizing-up, as recommended. Not a good look. Next, I tried sizing down: a little snug, and nothing like the boyfriend-fit I was expecting. They had my size in the back, which fit perfectly. Three hours later – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

My advice for purchasing white jeans:

  1. Be prepared to try on several different styles and sizes. Start with your true size, then decide whether to size up or down. Whatever happens: size right.
  2. That whole – denser, thicker fabric is no joke. The right fabric will hide a multitude of sins.
  3. A little stretch goes a long way.  The pants I bought are only 2% spandex, but 1% is fine too. The key is to avoiding clingy fabric that gives you that “stuffed sausage look.”
  4. Florescent lights are not your friend, so use your cell phone for good and not for evil. Click as many shots as necessary to ensure you white boyfriend jeans (or any other clothing) looks good and fits well.