My “semi” 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse has ended. I thought I’d be happier about it.

Beyond day 10, I hadn’t considered what to do next. I thought maybe I’d return to eating healthy about 70% of the time. Or maybe I’d have an epiphany and become a vegan, drink wheat grass, and take a battery of vitamins and supplements. Now, both options are off the table. (pun intended)

When I began the cleanse, I acknowledged (at least to myself) that I needed to shed a few pounds. The stress of Stephanie’s latest illness had made working-out feel like punishment, eating and drinking a comfort. So when a couple of friends started talking about the green smoothie cleanse, I didn’t really have to think about it.

It took me a few days to get started. Even when I did, I admit I never fully committed to the program. I had trouble with the idea of a “cleanse.” I believed that the body would cleanse itself, given time. I was also skeptical about starving myself, only to have the weight reappear as soon as the fasting ended. After deciding that my family (and I) would be much happier if I was eating, I began a modified cleanse: green smoothies for breakfast and lunch, and a well-balanced dinner at night; little to no processed foods, sugar, salt  or alcohol; and coffee – the one thing I refused to give up. I approached the cleanse in a way that I thought would best work for me.

Several days into the cleanse I noticed that not only was I enjoying this new way of eating, but I was no longer swallowing my feelings. I cried about my sister and returned to the gym the next day.

For me, the cleanse wasn’t about being perfect. It was about getting rid of the negative influences that were blocking my life. (How’s that for a metaphor?) The 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse was empowering and now that I’ve started, I need to find a way to keep going.