Time in the hospital has felt more like being in prison. It started when I got jail-house tatts before being locked down and confined to my cell. I’ve donned the uniform (AKA the peek-a-butt hospital gown); and had my three squares a day. By default, I’ve joined the bald head gang, housed here on the BMT Unit cell block.

Workouts include walks around the yard (i.e., the ward) or trips to the relaxation room which offers a computer, reading materials, a treadmill, stationary bike, and a set of stairs. Sorry,  I don’t have the prison body to show for it.

Incarceration comes with forced visits from techs,  nurses, integrated medicine experts, a nutritionist, and doctors from different disciplines.

Nearly three weeks into this, I still haven’t quite figured out who the warden is. But I think it’s Dr. K. Yet, for some reason, he seems reluctant to claim the title. Maybe it’s because I’ve threatened to cut of my hospital arm bands and escape “SHAWSHANK” style, which turns out, may not be necessary after all.

It looks like I will be getting out ahead of the projected 25-35 schedule. I’m calling it an early release for good behavior. When I find out my release date, I’ll share it with you. You’ve been so loving to follow my progress.

In the meantime, I thought I’d share a few pictures from inside my cell.

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*The use of neither coffee nor whiskey is responsible for the securing of my early release.

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